What's on your mind?

[KasperKalamity]

i got a call back for an audition i had yesterday. maybe for acting, maybe for writing, i'm not sure. it's for a sketch comedy series filming outside Milwaukee.

this is what i read, two bits i had on my notepad on my phone i put together with some older openers that were open mic good:

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sorry i don't have anything memorized, i was up late last night watching park city's favorite public access show: extreme invasion home edition. plus, i took a dayquil AND a nyquil this morning, so my cold doesn't know WHAT time it is.

i have what's known as restless brain sydrome. i'll give you an example -

why do we have shirtsleeves and pantlegs instead of shirtarms and pantsleeves?

why do we put shirts in dressers, dresses in closets, and get dressed in bathrooms where we take showers when we put clothes in closets to keep them dry and so we dont have to fold them even though nobody folds anything in their dresser anyway so what difference does it make? i dont have time for this,

i got important shit to do goddamnit! im launching an all out scientifically designed, multinationally coordenated effort, specifically tasked with the aim of discovering exactly what happens to the lightbulb in my refrigerator when the door's closed.

im convinced the power company might be up to something.

most people would just simply place a camcorder in the cheese crisper next to the powdered rhinocerous testicles, and close the door, bingo problem solved, we can all go back to watching the dog lick his nutsack, but hey, im not most people.

my plan involves 2 geese, 5 wooden nickles, and a 9-iron. you see wooden nickles scare the shit out of geese, so one'll beat the other to death with the golf club, bust the lightbulb on the backswing, and get electrocuted, cooking it perfectly.

i get a meal, and the power company can go to hell.