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 This Game Has Its Ups And Downs
#1
Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.


This Game Has Its Ups And Downs


(Anonymous) August 17, 2018


My friends and I are playing a tabletop roleplaying game similar to “Dungeons and Dragons.” We have three players and our Game Master. We have been given a fairly standard fetch quest, gathering up a bunch of items to be brought back. One part of the quest leads us to a series of caves that requires us to swim through an underwater lake. That forces us to leave most of our weapons and armor behind.

The three of us venture into the cave, armed only with what little we can carry through the water. Our wizard, though, has a magical dagger. Once a day, it can cast the spell “Stand Still.” As the name implies, the target is frozen in place, unable to move. The caverns are largely uneventful, and at last we reach the macguffin. In this case, it’s a crystal on a pedestal.

I check it for traps, then pick it up. This causes a stone door to rise, opening the way. But it also reveals a cave troll! Properly equipped, it will be no match. But in our current state, it is a dangerous foe. Our wizard draws his dagger.


Wizard: “I cast–”

Me: “Wait! Is it in the doorway yet?”

Game Master: “Uh, yeah. The troll is in the door.”

Me: “Now!”

Wizard: “I cast Stand Still!”

Game Master: “The troll is frozen, its body blocking the exit.”

Me: “I put the crystal back.”

Game Master: “You… Wait, you what?”

Me: “I put the crystal back on the pedestal.”

Game Master: “You… Oh, man. The door closes, bones snap, and flesh pops as the massive stone crushes the troll.”

Me: “I pick up the crystal.”

Game Master: “The door opens, blood and viscera dripping…”

Me: “I put the crystal back.”

Game Master: “The door closes.”

Me: “I pick the crystal up.”

Game Master: “The door opens.”

Me: “I put the crystal back.”

Game Master: “The door closes.”

Me: “I pick the crystal up.”

Game Master: “The door opens.”

Me: “I put the crystal back.”

Game Master: “IT’S DEAD!”

Me: “Just checking!”
Up is down, left is right and sideways is straight ahead. - Cord "Circle of Iron", 1978 (written by Bruce Lee and James Coburn... really...)
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#2
Started playing DnD recently, had a funny situation like this. The DM played along well.
I defeated 3 rabid dogs with mage hand. XD
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