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Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a youtube video recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.
Unfortunately, no names were attributed.


I once was DMing a one-shot for some of my friends. I don't remember the names of the NPCs, but still.

Some old man sold the party information about a location of a sunken ship of a legendary orc pirate who once successfully raided the Empire's capital city, but later vanished with his fleet for good afterwards. The idea of the one-shot was basically treasure hunting.

Once the players got to an island around the area where the ship should be, they decided that they should get themselves a ship to get around. But after hearing the price of a small ship, they decided not ot buy it, but to steal it. Somehow they succeeded, though out of five players, only one knew anything about ships. So they had a tough time steering that thing around.

About the same time, i threw in some sidequests and the party took one of them. The sidequest had them climb one of the mountainpeaks where an abandoned dragon lair was located to retrieve some dead heroine's items.

A few decades ago, a dragon was living in that lair, but he was hunted down and killed by a barbarian. She unfortunately died in the process. So my players get to the lair and it turned out that a mountain troll now occupied the cave. They weren't sure if they could kill it, so they came up with quite the solution.

A player who was a druid in the game asked me before the session started if I could modify his 'Goodberries' spell a bit. He wanted to turn those berries into very potent... marijuana. I thought it sounded fun, so I allowed it.

So the troll situation, I don't remember how exactply, but our ice wizard, druid and... 'druid of the weed' as he called himself... made an object that basically was a remote controlled... bong.

So one of the druids guided the weed smoke into the cave with the troll. I thought that they wanted to weaken the troll, so I allowed it. But then one of the players, a ranger to be specific, suggested they befriend the troll while it was high as a kite.

Everyone supports his idea while I get my fallen jaw back in its place.

So they continute to smoke the cave for a week while our barbarian hunted deer and wolves to feed the troll.

Why the barbarian you ask? Well, the troll liked him the most, 'cause the barbarian had the same intelligence as the troll... something laughably like -2 or -3.

They spent so much time trying to get the troll into liking them that I said "screw it" and made the troll and the barbarian Best Friends Forever!!!

it would only follow the barbarian, defend him and so on. The Troll didn't understand anyone at all, but he would do simple commands from the barbarian like attack, carry, stay, and so on.

After that, the party said "Why hunt for some pirate treasures if you can make your own?"  SO... they embarked onto a series of raids and ship battles where "troll abordage" was the main event.

So here it is, 'Legend of a Troll Pirate."  Unfortunatly, that game died shortly after.
Up is down, left is right and sideways is straight ahead. - Cord "Circle of Iron", 1978 (written by Bruce Lee and James Coburn... really...)
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