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Rose's writing and shittake mushrooms
#1
Death
This poem/song is for my deceased sister. <3

Running, running.. from a past that I have forgotten
A voice of reason drowned out by constant condescension
Another petal falls within my rose garden
only to be trampled those who take granted the beauty of it all.

There is nothing I would rather have..
than everything I ever lost, back..
as my flowers wilt, never to grow again..
this, my love, is the meaning of death..

crying, crying.. from a grief that I've never felt in this heart.
a feeling of falling engulfed within soaring from myself
These petals fall as an mid April shower,
only to leave barren the one place that I hold dearest.

There is nothing I would rather feel..
than the feeling of waking from a dream..
as my garden fades, never to open its gates for me..
this, my love, is the meaning of death..

Nothing, nothing.. darkness, so heartless..
brooding, brooding.. a blood, bonded by love.
Crushing, crushing... it rips my heart in two, thinking of you..
Tell me! Someone tell me! Is this how it feels to be truly alive.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vivian
This is for a girl I met online >.> Yar...


Roses in concrete, this rain pours gray
with tears opaque.. in which makes visible your faith.
she was a dancer, her grace has no equal
her name unknown, her smile so lethal.

O lady grace, with such beauty
inspired by your face, a muse you are to me
she dances as he watches.. unknown his admiration
he glances at his goddess.. engulfed in adoration
his words are his own.. hers are in silence
her thinks of her so often.. her image engraved on his eyelids

'Vivi.. Vivid.. so elegant, my Vivian.'
'A lily.. an aphid.. I need you, your smile will be my end.'
he crumbles his papers.. trying to find the right words.
a poem to sedate her.. a ballad not good enough for her.

O lady grace, with smile so warm
inspired by your face, but I am so torn.
she dances as he watches.. his touch so close but just that far.
he glances at his goddess.. the grief of the fading of her star.
her words belongs to no one.. she is free as a bird
she thinks of him never.. for his song is never heard.


...

The birth of the field of fireflies, light so meek.
Its shines for eternity, but the feelings dies in a week.
He was a bard, his song has no equal.
his name was a flower, with petals so regal

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Plastic Roses
This song is for I guess me.




Searching for a shadow
with my eyes wide shut
at home with my self
whom I love so much
a princess in rags
a slipper made of glass..
these are fairytales that I like
as I'm crying asleep each night
Here we are reaching for things we wish true
autumn leaf, autumn breeze, in this sky so blue
for every picture we take, lies a part we leave frozen
we have lost our own scent in these plastic roses


Love! Please give me my desires!
I want! To reach the clouds, to soar higher!
I need! A place where I can avoid truth..
I embrace.. this gold made for fools.


Searching for a reason
my eyes the fixated forward
desperately trying to watch my back
crying wolf to my own lord
An apathetic bard with no song
but a heart made of gold
these are the stories that I want
as Im holding you so close
Here we are reaching towards the sky
winter snow, winter cold, as we helplessly lie
for every smile we fake, is an heart that is broken
we have lost our own scent in these plastic roses

Love! Please give me my desires!
I want! To reach the clouds, to soar higher!
I need! A place where I can avoid truth..
I embrace.. this gold made for fools.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

(Have you noticed my name mentioned in the songs so far? Yeah..)

Pride.
Written for me.

Im stuck in a prison..
with so many mirrors
I am bound by shame..
shackles of translations
hold me down in fear
as I am forced to decay in vain
I gaze through crystal glass eyes
the fraility of beauty..
they wind me up, pull my strings
as I dance through my pain

its feasible, as I stroll through the darkness of the heart
that I will immerge with soot on my face..
a modern day minstrel, our luxuries are a world apart
dancing for the demons, just to ensure my place..

Less than a feeling..
paranoia ensures roads of saline tears
More than a cretin..
the song of a bard echoes from the lesser years


Pleasure in torment..
reduced to nothing in this skin
worn out, and thrown away
never to be thought of again
a heart of porcelin
shattered with a fading pulse
an deathbed of roses
yet the death of a lame
I breath through vineyard lungs
intoxicated in hope that proves false
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Night sky
Written for an unrequited love.

If I fall right now will... y o u c a t c h m e~
This rain falls slowly carressing.. swaying.. like your touch.
in this starlit sky, I see in your eyes.. blanketed by innocence
I awaken.. gazing out of the window seeing it as just a dream.
It still rains within my heart.. that sky is still within me.
and I gaze towards that sky so dark.. it must symbolize you were pretending~
there is nothing but memories in these stars.. T H E Y F E E L S O E M P T Y~
if I could walk away from the start... I w o u l d n ' t b e l i m p i n g.


when I dream it is your poison that intoxicates me.
... [these fumes are fragant, but kills me slowly]
when I think it is your venom that rots my heart.
... [its bittersweet to me, yet it erodes me]
These memories are many, they play over and over again in the night sky
when I gaze at these moving pictures.. you wonder what I am looking at.
This sky of you has become so beautiful for me~
if only you could see why every star, reminds me of you.
This aurora sky...

Was it a dream.. was it a dream..
When I breathe.. I feel our hearts as one..
I can feel your breath.. feel you breathe
I close my eyes.. as you take my breath away.
Life is but a metaphor in this night sky.


If I cry right now.. w i l l y o u c o m f o r t m e~
The wind blows ominously embracing.. pacing.. like your love.
In this starlit sky, I see in your eyes.. unsure blinded by grief.
I awaken.. gazing out of the window seeing it as just a dream.
It's still drafty in my heart.. that coldness, within me.
as I gaze towards a sky so dark.. my love is descending~
there is nothing but pain in these stars.. T H E Y F E E L S O E M P T Y~
If I could stop embarrassing from the start.. you wouldnt be against me.
[or will you?]

Was it a dream.. was it a dream..
When I breathe.. I feel our hearts as one..
I can feel your breath.. feel you breathe
I close my eyes.. as you take my breath away.
Life is but a metaphor in this night sky.


when I DREAM! its your breath that suffocates me.
..[this air is nostalgic, but I cant breathe]
when I GAZE! its your touch that impales me~
..[this feeling is gentle, but will be the death of me]
These memories are many, they play over and over again in the night sky
when I gaze at these moving pictures.. you wonder what I am looking at.
This sky of you has become so beautiful for me~
if only you could see why every star, reminds me of you.
This aurora sky...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfinished Song
Written for another girl online ( >.> I have yet to write a song about someone I actually know that isn't related to me)

I want to write the sadness away,
a pen and a paper to gain your attention.
Without your gaze I am alone,
with myself I have nothing but condescension.
Maybe a thousand words cant grasp the stars,
but it can at least get me to the moon.
so as I look through these self portraits of you
I see .. I can see the whole galaxy through.
Maybe, a day.. would come and you will call
and will lay rest to these fleeting dreams
I will tell you a story of love, and you will fall.. for me.
.. I wish you would fall for me..


I have waited.. a lifetime everyday
dreamed so long, I dont know if I am awake
these words, of admiration are all they will be
as I am stuck with a song that wont be complete.

If I could I'd compose a serenade, to tribute my unrequited love
A ballerina in a music box elegant as she sways in a winter snow of doves
These thoughts are just thoughts, as I am to far away to see
the fireworks in the night sky park, as we observe from the trees..

Lost in a dream, If I close my eyes just right
I can see lovely fireworks in erupting in the night
a vision of you smiling, beside a vision I...
as we embrace lovingly through the night
Oh what a beautiful dream.. an endearing fantasy..
oh these webs I weave.. to get you tangled with me
A silouhette a shade so dark, that it can easily crush my heart
it feels as if emotion drowns me when we're apart...
Maybe, a day.. would where you'll smile for me..
and as I touch your face, you'll remember my name
as I tell you a story of adoration, and you'll do the same
.. I wish you would fall for me.. I wish you would fall for me..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carousel
Written for me?

in a hailstorm of mayflowers and roses
we lie in a stasis patheticly frozen
this love for granted, treasured as golden
an embryo birthed, no mother to hold it..
It goes round, and round..
nothing but a ragdoll to inertia
this merry go round, falls down
the sky shatters, with no lover to nurture

Does it not hurt? Do we not bleed..
a faith that no church, can bond nor weave
We are so lost, to this pain of our hearts
a carousel with no end, for it hasnt a start

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grape Vine Orchid
(Notice the reoccuring theme yet? If not.. eh..)

Grape Vine Orchid

Boredom is a flower with no sunlight,
silence is the wilting of a single rose..
beauty is the fragrance of the sweet nectar of the tongue..
lost is the days of the vine to the sun

A melody for the ears,
its movement brings me to tears
a love blossoms the heart
and kills me when apart
It feels so great as I realize Im alone
I make my house in gray, never called it a home
so many letters, form so many words
speak them all, with the hope of being heard
but I am mute, in a room of deaf
a sheet of music, with no movements left
so as I cry in rain, hoping I wont be seen
I feel so captivated, as the feeling are serene
in a putrid world, there is always beauty
but it is all in monotone, which means nothing to me


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Azure Music Box
Inspired by my parents

Gifted Presence

Sky is grey, Im feeling blue
A rainy day, Im thinking of you
This music really speaks to my soul
Dont you, dare stop, playing my song
~azure music box~

La .. la .. la...

~A- a - a a zure music box~
]
Roads are flooded, in an ocean of regrets
wading my way, into a hollow home
my shadow is cast, from this sunset
for my love, we all must wallow alone

Mother said.. life wont keep you down
Mother frowns.. who do I have now?
Father said.. boy you're a disgrace
son said.. Im out of this place

TODAY!


(la laa Laaa LAAA Laaa laa la la..)

OF ALL OF THIS LIFE IT REMAINS TRUE
I AM ALONE I DONT NEED YOU
SO WIND ME UP AND LET ME BREATHE
IM A LONE MUTT JUST SET ME FREE
(~)

this rose blooms in my concrete soul
sharp fickle thorns of crimson
god help me regain my control
this pandora is forsaken of all living.

Stranger said.. that I can not be
Lover said.. she has to set me free
Friend said.. for me there is no home
I said.. I guess I will roam

FOR YOU!

(La laa laaa LAA laaa laa la)

A HALLWAY OF DOORS LIES FOR ME
SILLY I AM HERE WITH NO KEY
BUT I WILL GO FOR I HAVE NO CHOICE
SPEAK TO ME I WILL COME TO YOUR VOICE

(...)

My music box. Hahaha..
Play for me.. PLAY!

... Hmm songs over.


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