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Remi-chan's Writing Snippets~
#1
Basically my art thread but for snippets of dialogue instead. With this I shall expand my visibility on these forums and claim new ground in the Gazette, that and you all get to see some writing I'm all doing, which not to brag but- that is probably a treat in and of itself~

From the first draft of the Seraphim Script.
[Image: Sf9NY4W.png]

More to come~
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#2
Some good stuff here. Always a problem in a game to get meaningful dialogue without bogging the player down with too many words. Dialogue needs to a) develop character, b) describe scene and c) move the action, while sounding realistic and not forced. Well done!
I saw the boys of summer in their ruin. Dylan Thomas.
www.everley.link 
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#3
Cheers~ Yeah in the game itself there wouldn't be the actual narration, that's just for the sake of my understanding of the scene and context when it comes time to implement it.

Another little snippet~
[Image: D7BtYXC.png]
Fyori's perspective on the fight proceeding the events just above.

And Fyori's perspective on the events in the first post.
[Image: dDWewuH.png]
These won't really have a place in the game, it's just a fun exercise to do alternate perspectives.
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#4
(11-18-2021, 10:00 PM)Mike Wrote: They always say that it is like an iceberg. The writer needs to know an extra 90 percent that is hidden beneath the 10 percent revealed in the dialogue and narrative.

Remi-chanCheers~ Yeah in the game itself there wouldn't be the actual narration, that's just for the sake of my understanding of the scene and context when it comes time to implement it.

Another little snippet~
[Image: D7BtYXC.png]
Fyori's perspective on the fight proceeding the events just above.

And Fyori's perspective on the events in the first post.
[Image: dDWewuH.png]
These won't really have a place in the game, it's just a fun exercise to do alternate perspectives.
I saw the boys of summer in their ruin. Dylan Thomas.
www.everley.link 
Reply }
#5
I think you messed up the formatting a bit there but I gotchu!

And yeah like my google docs has a shit ton of stuff like this.

I will now share some excerpts from a short story I made to better characterize Xaela and Xali. An Evil God and an Evil Embodiment, essentially the final villains of my cosmos.

[Image: rytt5Ci.png]

Repairing Xali's fascinating heart system after a skirmish on Zen Aneia.
[Image: yKlwbqh.png]

Taking a "date" to a planet of savages where Xali and Xaela do their thing.
[Image: jRhxriP.png]

Then Xaela and Xali's borderline romantic sense of camaraderie!
[Image: YbvYmCg.png]

Even the most evil people in existence are capable of feelings!
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#6
Protip: Don't try to one-up the Enma. It's a heavily unwise decision, as Xaela finds out!
[Image: rDjeqfD.png]


A Blademaster's Honor is tarnished for the sake of Surreal Cosmic Progeny
[Image: DeT3qcQ.png]
Just some stories with no canon depictions in game, that are simply used to flesh out characters.
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#7
This thread was basically created for easy spots in the gazette but also to diminish a certain someone hegemony, with writing that is y'know... actually somewhat decent so I'm gonna share some of the optional events I've written up preparing for the crazy amount of optional dialogue this coming demo.

Rolly, Pep and Tristy reviewing primetime television.
[Image: 0KVIlnC.png]
I wish Shrewd Butler was real, in hindsight.

A Pep Talk from Pep Cookiedoe
[Image: n3Geej3.png]
That will do for now~!
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#8
Some more snippets! First, some from one of Kara's optional events.
[Image: BJK1hdr.png]

And then! This wicked scene from one of Lyza's optional events!
[Image: p2x1Fqh.png]
Sacreblu really coming in with the dread line to pacify the Galaxions.
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#9
Probably shouldn't be sharing this already but if I'm sharing stuff from Seraphim then i guess all rules are off.

This is an excerpt of the large story rewrite and entire remaster I'll be doing for Intelligence once Fantasia is done.
[Image: cPIQmbL.png]

and here's another one, all of this is from act 1 so it's not very spoilery!
[Image: Tmcm3nJ.png]
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#10
Some big Fantasia spoilers here so just be warned of that.
[Image: 9b8UE8u.png]

Big Fantasia spoilers if you care.
[Image: Ck3R22Q.png]
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