What's on your mind?

[Siletrea]

OK so the thread I recently made? "RGSS scripting dissections and explinations" has been attracting some wonderful people who've been happily explaining and answering questions! which I'm overly grateful for! but I've run into a realization about myself that not only terrifies me but is also highly embarrasing....thanks to both Kyonides and DerVVulfman I've been given alot of information thats CRUCIAL to being able to program in ANY language not JUST RGSS...Kyonides gave me physical examples of how things work with a snippet of code even! but I couldent understand it...and when I probed to find out the terms so that I could understand I felt compleatly stupid...DerVVulfman answered my odd and somewhat childish questions and thats when the realization hit... I found out for the 1st time that a "star" a * was actually called "asterisk" ...at 20 years old...21 next tuesday...I excitedly told my mother what I had learned and for a breif second she had a blank expression on her face before encouraging me to keep learning as she always does..I asked her is she already knew and she sadly said she learned it quite early on in highschool...thats when the realization hit...I'm autistic and my school decided to pull a really sleazy move by segregating all special needs kids into a side classroom and teaching them at the level of the lowest funtioning kid...who couldent do 2+2 on a daily basis or properly talk...I never really HAD highschool years! when I use odd and somewhat childish/rediculous terms to describe things its because I don't know them as anything else I was never taught that they had an official name or even uses....I fought to get a grade 12 equivalency which ended up with me getting a grade 13 so to speak...the only reason i got through communications 12 was because I always likes reading so I write the way I was used to reading...which miraculously included nouns and verbs even though to this day IDK what they are...so I'm sending this out to everyone on SP as an apology to the scripters who attempt to help me and as a way of generating an understanding of why someone can try diligently to learn somehting for yearsbut never go anywhere because of a lack of understanding the terms...sorry for the word dump guys!...I'm just happy I learned something that everyone else knows but embarrassed that I diddent know it sooner