I must share this pain. You will feel every bit of mine for letting curiosity get the better of you.

(08-20-2012, 01:56 AM)PK8 Wrote: No matter how natural I act on the Internet or in real life, it has become very apparent that I am struggling — and failing — to win the war against this strong sense of sadness that I have.

I have been heartbroken more times than I could count now. I had lost sleep over thinking of her, but whenever I do find rest, they occur at the most inopportune of times such as when I am trying to consume food at the dining table, writing snippets of code, or watching a programme. Nowadays, I have trouble waking both body and mind up simultaneously on a nigh consistent basis. The fact that my hair has been falling out at a much rapid pace has not helped ease my pain.

I don't think I will be walking away from this battle unscathed. This is a far different ordeal that I am dealing with. This is three years of my life that I have spent down the drain. Those past three years have been nothing more than a lie.

The love I had regained for the world because of her has now been swept away, and the pessimistic yet jovial man that I am, or rather was, has died.

What remains here before you is the empty shell of a man that once was. She, who once was my greatest inspiration, has now transformed into the greatest of my failures. I am a broken man in a sea of broken men.

Will I ever find the solace that I am due? Or am I to be left to wander amongst the wasteland of my heartbreaks, to eventually slip into an unfathomable abyss, never to return? My personal contest for redemption and true ferocity has truly begun...